Trust in God

We have become so use to the feelings of anxiety, worry, stress, sadness, and anger we have such a difficult time giving it all to God. We unknowingly fear what we would be like, how we would function without these negative emotions. We don’t know God’s peace as normal. This is a shame. We don’t know the happiness, joy, and calmness God can provide by taking away these feelings we have become accustom to. We may give God these feelings from time to time but we soon take them back because her begin to feel like something is wrong. Shouldn’t we feel sad? Why aren’t we worrying? Isn’t stress normal? We go back to what we have always known. We soon forget how wonderful the peace God is. How amazing we feel when we give our problems to Him.

“I leave you peace, my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don’t let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

What we need to understand is just because God gives us peace doesn’t mean the troubles we are going through will go away. Giving our anxiety and worry to God doesn’t mean our life will be perfect. We will have trials and trouble, we will struggle in this life, this is a fact. However, we can go through these difficult times with a peace that carries us through without the worry and stress of each situation. We can walk through the troubles knowing God is with us and protecting us. Knowing we are not alone.

“I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.” John 16:33

God desires to take our negative feelings away. God urns to give us his unrelenting peace!

Talk to him, tell him what you are feeling then ask him to take the anxiety, anger, sadness, worry, stress, and fear away. That is what he wants, he will take it! Give it to him and when you feel yourself taking it back (and you will) stop, refocus and give it to him again. You deserve God’s peace. Jesus died so we could have this peace and God gives it freely to those who ask.

“Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you” 1 Peter 5:7

Being in Love

Well my daily writing has not been all I wanted it to be. I spent the weekend with my boyfriend and didn’t take much time away from him to write. Something I really need to do! I guess that’s part of being in love.

I was thinking about love today. I have several friends who are married, a few divorced and others just dating. Each of us is or has been in love. Myself I’m in the beginning stages of love. When I think about it, it seems so scary. When I just let things be, I couldn’t be happier. I wonder how many people understand this. Do others get scared of being in love? My heart wants to jump out of my chest when I think of my boyfriend. I get butterflies and am so giddy. I smile all the time and it’s hard to have a bad day when I think about him. Unless I'm thinking about how much I actually love him. I hold back at times because I'm afraid of falling to hard. I guess that is ultimately because I’m afraid of getting my heart broke. I can’t read his mind and don’t know if he loves me the same. I don’t know that he won’t walk away and stop loving me. I caught myself thinking today that I didn’t want to be in love. I was so scared of getting hurt, a broken heart, that I didn’t want the good stuff.

I thought, “Brandie, you’re an idiot!” What, I don’t want to be in love? That is what we wait our lives for. All girls want the butterflies, the constant smile on our face. We all want that person that warms out heart and clouds our mind. I have that and now I don’t want it because one day it may go away. Ha, no away! I decided in that moment, No way! I’m not going to let my fear (false evidence appearing real) stop me from all I have dreamed of. I concluded that no matter what happens in the future, of which I cannot predict, I will love. I will give all my heart and love! A thousand broken hearts are worth how I feel today. I can’t let my fear hold me back. I love him, that simple!

Day two of writing… I almost forgot about my commitment to write. I was hanging out with my friend Stephanie and was going to watch some TV until I remember I need to write. So here I am.

I made some decisions about school today. I decided, all on my own, to take Western Civ, Interpersonal Communications and Intro to Computers(online). Normally I would ask advice from all my friends and family. Make sure I was making the right decision. Today I went with my gut and registered. Now I just have to commit. Make it happen. I want an A in each class. It’s going to take a lot to get that. I have to work hard.

But working hard it nothing new to me. I can be lazy so I keep busy. I have always done what needed to get done! I understand the importance of hard work. Not that I was raised to know this. I guess I learned from example. Or should I say lack of example. My parents didn’t work much. I grew up on welfare, neither parent carried a real “legal” job for more then a few months. I didn’t want to be like them so I work hard. Sometimes to hard. But I know I’ll be able to reach my goals and accomplish my dreams. That is what matters to me. To have dreams and be able to achieve them!

Let's Start

I decided I’m going to write everyday. 10 min, 30 min, and hour it doesn’t matter as long as I’m writing. I love to write and I want to be a writer, so I need to write. I’m not going to pick a specific topic or anything just write. I will jot down what ever comes to mind. I am actually interested in seeing where my fingers take me. I can only imagine the silly things my mind will share with the paper. I am not going to hold anything back. I don’t care if it makes sense or not. It is my writings. I really don’t even care if the grammar is correct at this point. I need to form the habit of writing, and then the rest will follow.

So here we go...
I decided to look at my class schedule today. I was going to take Western Civ and Spanish. I still may. However, I would like to take Western Civ and Interpersonal Communications. That's what interests me. I am also debating on a third online class. I did online learning for 2 years so I know how it works, and I actually enjoyed. I really want to take Creative Writing online. This would fall into my goal of writing. However, if I'm being logical I should take computers. I need it to finish out my associates degree. Creative Writing would have no real impact on my degree. Although in the end, I want to be a writer so it would help my overall goal and dream in life. Hmmmm, what to do what to do??? I guess first I need to see if my manager will let me leave early twice a week so that I can alter my schedule to the latter.

I am actually excited for school to start. Yes, I’m a nerd. I enjoy the learning and the challenge. I also like the fact it takes up a lot of my time. I am at my best when I’m busy. Funny how it works, the more you do the more you get done!

It’s been awhile. I’ve been busy with work, school and a boy; I just haven’t taken the time to blog. I’m not sure what I want to blog about either…

I’ve been debating about deep psychological topics or just life stuff. Which I guess can be deep too, but not all the time. They say blogs are thoughts put out there for others to read. Hummmm, not sure how much I want people in my head. Although, I think at times that might be good. It might help me open up more, share who I am. Not sure where this blog is going to go. Then again do people really plan a theme for their blogs or do they just write???
I think I'll take it one day at a time. I am going to try and write every day or at least a few times a week. I love to write and well at this time just feel the need to. I'm not sure where my fingers will lead, guess you will have to read and find out…